Booming: loud, deep, and attention-grabbing

Dead: if a person's voice is dead, they sound emotionless and probably monotoned

Flat/monotoned: dull, lacking variation in tone, bored

Grating: irritating, unpleasant, raspy, annoying, etc.

High-pitched: shrill

Plummy: describes the way English people of the upper class talk and the word is typically used with derogatory connotations

Soft-spoken: speaking with a gentle or soft voice

Strident: loud and harsh; very similar to 'grating'

Thick: if your voice is 'thick with emotion', it is generally deeper and unclearer than normal

Tremulous: unsteady or shaky because of emotions

Quavering: if a person's voice is quavering, their voice is trembling (usually due to nervousness)

A Few Words to Describe a Person's Voice:

Brittle: if a person is speaking in a brittle voice, it sounds as if they are about to cry.

Croaking: rough and/or hoarse

Disembodied: a disembodied voice comes from a person you can't see.

Droning: boring, monotoned.

Fruity: deep and strong in a welcoming or pleasant way.

Gravelly/Gruff: a low and rough voice.

Guttural: extremely low voice.

Honeyed: a nice voice but when the person speaks there is a hint of dishonesty in their voice.

Rasping: a gravelly whisper.

Shrill: a loud, high, and unpleasant sound or voice.

Silvery: clear, light, and pleasant.

Taut: nervous or angry.

Tight: nervous or annoyed.

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, has a drink and then leaves.
2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
3. A question mark walks into a bar? 
4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
5. A gerund and and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
6. The bar was walked into by a passive voice.
7. Three transitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

-Eric K. Auld

"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite."
-C.S Lewis


Balthazar: an oversized wine bottle holding approximately 16 times the volume of an average bottle.
Crepehanger: pessimist; killjoy
Dysania: when you do not want to get out of bed in the morning
Garrulous: annoyingly talkative
Jib: the dot on top of the letters 'i' and 'j'
Jiggery-pokery: suspicious activity; nonsense
Loblolly: a stupid, rude, or awkward person
Mondegreen: misheard lyrics
Parathesia: the 'pins and needles' you feel you your limb falls asleep
Phobophobia: an unnatural fear of possessing a fear
Rapscallion: a worthless person
Semantic Satiation: what happens when you repeatedly say the same word until it loses its meaning

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light in the broken glass."
-Anton Chekhov

Blond (with no 'e') is for the male gender.

"This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence in length and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals- sounds that say listen to this, it is important."
 - Gary Provost

I know having sentence variety is a pretty basic rule for most writers out there, but I really like how Gary Provost put it so simply but still really manages to make it effective. By reading it once, the audience can't help but think that they can so easily make a writing so much better by changing the length of the sentences and making them unique. However, the writer still has to take into consideration the unity of the paragraph to make sure the sentences compliment each other.